If one wants to improve female orgasm techniques it is of vital importance to strengthen the pelvic musculature in general. Whipple and Perry stated in 1980, “the strength of a woman’s pubococcygeus muscle is directly related to her ability to reach orgasm through intercourse”. And further; “Women can learn to strengthen their pubococcygeus muscles or to relax them if they are too tense.
It is essential to train this muscle daily with squeezing exercises. If one breaks an arm or a leg, many of us know that already after a few weeks in a cask, there is a loss of both size and strength of the muscles in the leg or arm. Yet, we tend to believe that the sexually related muscles can remain inactive for long periods of time and then are in good shape when the right partner turns up!
At the very beginning of sexual stimulation, both men and women experience light contractions in the genital muscles. After each contraction there is an increase of blood circulation. This occurs before one starts to notice moisturizing of the vagina. A tip is to consciously contract the pubococcygeus muscles at that stage, to increase the blood circulation. Our Daisy cream also has the same effect of enlarging the blood vessels, so that an erection of clitoris is enhanced and this in its turn sends signals to the whole sexual system to get activated.
We know today that more than two thirds of all women are dependent on clitoral stimulation in order to reach an orgasm, something that can explain a lot of frustration and disappointments. Only some 30 % can reach an orgasm via intercourse only, as reported in the Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of the Female Sexuality, 1976.
Another important orgasm improving technique is to learn about deep breathing. Deep inhalation and strong exhalation promotes opening up for deep sensations, which can be even more deepened by making sounds.
Erogenous zones are important to explore and stimulate. The body is a large and complicated instrument that can be taught to resonate if all its different parts are played with.
Moving the body will also deepen, stimulate and liberate the orgasmic potential.
Both men and women should learn female orgasm techniques. The woman’s own responsibility to do so has been claimed by the Grand Old Lady herself in this area –Betty Dodson, since the 1970’s. She has published several books, including the bestseller “Sex for One” (1986, 1996). Getting to know oneself and one’s own orgasmic potential makes a woman liberated and strong. As a professional and active artist, she started to realize in the sixties how the norms of society repress and oppress female sexuality, and since then she has helped by pushing the borders. We receive our own first perceptions of our genitals as we masturbate as children. We say yes to sexuality in this its most basic form and continue to develop ourselves throughout our whole lives! She meant, that we always should keep our sexual energy alive and to continue to develop our technique. To get away from shame and guilt and enjoy the healthy erotic satisfaction and accept masturbation as a sound expression for sexuality, is her advice.
Betty Dodson has during more than 30 years helped many women on her courses to accept masturbation without shame. Her comments to various ideas that masturbation should be considered asocial are; “On the contrary, to be sexually oppressed is asocial!” Worst of all the misperceptions she finds, is the idea that masturbation is something that can be done as a poor substitute for the real thing. It should on the contrary be conceived of as a full sexual experience, parallel with other sexual expressions. Betty Dodson also claims that it is unnecessary to compare different forms of orgasms, since “an orgasm is always an orgasm”, independent from what or from where they are triggered. Orgasm, according to her, is:
“The sexual tension, which has been building up by some form of genital stimulation, and then is released, followed sometimes but not always by minor or larger contractions in the whole body, followed by spasmic contractions in the pelvic musculature (or pubococcygeus muscle), which for some women, but not all, can be felt in the uterus, vagina, clitoris and anus. Orgasm has its peak in an ejaculation for most men and for some women. There might be several phases of pulsating explosions and releases”.
Most women are dependent on a vibrator in order to received proper stimulation of the clitoris while masturbating. The fact that a dildo also can be of use for a woman is not any different from men holding their own penis while masturbating. To be able to control one’s female orgasmic technique gives women a sense of strength and liberating self-assurance. If women are deprived of the right to their own bodies, they also don’t have any possibilities to discover or develop their own sexual response. Also Whipple and Perry encourage women, just as men do, to get to know their own genitalia and to masturbate. They claim that there are important physiological as well as psychological reasons for this.
Still, for far too many, feelings of shame and guilt are still hindering a truly joyful attitude towards masturbation. The anthropologist Mary Douglas has studied the connection between feelings of pollution or shame and taboo in different societies with different social norms, and she writes; “Pollution dangers strike when form has been attacked”. * Borders are maintained with the aid of taboos and feelings of guilt, shame and pollution. Is this then, where the border shall be maintained – that women don’t know their own orgasmic technique?
It might also be taken into consideration by what construction material these borders are built?
Douglas, Mary: Purity and Danger. An analysis of the Concepts of Pollution and Taboo p. 104. London, 1966